Rude's Birthday: A tribute to the Turk Parties
by KukaruiValentine
Summary: A KukaruiValentine Spin on the infamous Zeng Li's Turk Parties. Reno's place on Friday night for one good party! Rude's presents and... a new Turk. :)


Rude's Birthday: A Turk Parties Tribute!

_Beth: I have read the Turk Parties by my favorite author Zeng Li, and decided to take it into my own grubby little paws onto this. Zeng Li has asked for some other authors to try and write their own parties, so I decided to take my typical KukauriValentine spin on these! So sit back, relax and read onto my own take on these wonderful parties, feel free to pay a visit her mother website, I will try to get my story on the site, if she likes it! _

_P.S. I don't own the Turks. Trust me, okay? If anything, they own me! _

_Reno: Yeah Beth, shut up and keep typing!_

_Beth: Keep that electro rod to yourself, it's poking me in the back!_

_Reno: That's not my ELECTRO rod..._

_SMACK_

__

Tseng Wulong, top of the Turks of Shin-Ra, drove his new prototype bright fire red convertible at breakneck speeds along the road as he talked to his pale, terrified passenger, Daniel Reeve.

"They just GAVE you this car?" Daniel was trying to find something to hold onto as the two made their way to the typical Friday night hot spot for the Turks... Reno's apartment.

"Yeah, they said they wanted me to take it over the weekend, you know, just to see how it handles." Tseng swerved around a blind curve, Daniel gasped and almost jumped out of his seat.

Tseng yelled in Wutanese at the driver that he almost collided with as he sped past the car that was now in the ditch on the side of the road, the driver yelling at him from the smoldering heap.

"So, who is going to be at this party?" Reeve was trying to take his mind off of the horrible driving of his friend.

"The usual, Reno, Rufus, Elena, me and you, Rude, and..." Tseng hesitated, which Reeve caught on to immediately.

"And that little spit-fire new Turk? What's her name?"

"Her name is Beth, and yes, she is quiet a spit fire..." Tseng hid half a smirk, he was quite taken by the young girl, she was quiet a Turk.

"How old is she?" Reeve said, calming a little.

"She's nineteen, the youngest Turk in as long as anyone can remember, Reno was twenty when he finally got through that training course." Tseng turned a corner at break neck speeds.

"How long did she take?" Reeve was interested now.

"She took only five days to take the training, even the advanced course!"

"Did she sleep?" Reeve watched as Tseng parked the car in front of Reno's apartment, and his thoughts turned to Reno's strange friend as he saw a blue car parked next to them.

"Is... Cyrus or Nathan going to be here tonight?" He seemed worried, he liked Nathan alright, but where there was Nathan... there was Cyrus. Ah, Cyrus, Nathan's 'friend' that always seemed to have a bad habit of crashing the parties, or at least Tseng's car...

"No, that's Beth's car..." Tseng got out and locked the door. "Hello Beth."

"Hi boss,"

Reeve turned and stared at the newest Turk. Her hair was long and silvery, braided in a neat braid that hung down almost to the back of her knees. Her eyes were beautiful and mysteriously blue and full of Mako-fire. Her skin was pale and smooth, and Reeve thought she looked too fragile to be a full fledged Turk. Reeve noticed her figure was almost perfect, and he felt a pang of envy as he knew that Reno would at least look. Her uniform was perfect and crisp, it was creased and she looked good. Reeve could tell that she was young, he only hoped that she wouldn't catch him staring at her.

"Mr. Reeve, sir." She bowed to him and smiled. "How are you?"

Reeve blinked and walked towards the door, "Fine, and you?"

"Good, hey, boss!" Beth ran up to meet up with Tseng near Reno's door. Reeve just had to steal a glance as she walked in front of him. Wow, she had a nice ass... uh oh...he had some competition... and he wasn't happy about it.

"Ladies first..." Tseng's voice pulled him from his thoughts. Tseng was opening the door for the new Turk... Reeve had just seconds.

"TSENG!"

A fire-red headed man in a wrinkly old suit stood at the door, and a wave of seltzer water came out at the first Turk uniform he saw.

In just moments his water supply of seltzer was gone completely, and the poor rookie Turk stood there in a drenched uniform, glaring at her slightly older veteran. The poor girls bangs were plastered to her forehead, her once immaculate uniform was now soggy and hanging off of her small form, and she was mad.

Elena, on the couch, stopped in mid swig of a beer, looking at Reno. Rude and Rufus, over at the pool table, stopped their conversation and stared as Reno soaked someone who was not Tseng, although Rufus took the distraction and used it to his advantage, sinking a few balls when Rude wasn't watching him. Nathan, hiding in the kitchen, stayed hidden, probably taking a nap in the freezer or something.

"Yo...you're... n.. not Tseng..." Reno said, hiding the bottle behind his back.

"No, she's not, I am..." Tseng peered from behind the door of Reno's apartment, where he had taken cover at the first shout of his name.

"Then... who is she?" Reno glanced at the soggy, pissed off young woman standing in front of him, presently shaking with either anger, cold or both. She stayed quiet as her blue eyes seemed to burn holes through him..

Tseng stepped forward, in between his two Turks. "Reno, this is the new Turk I told you about, her name is Beth."

Reno looked at her, then held out his hand in welcoming, "Hey Beth..." He said.

In a blink of his eyes, he was on his back on the ground looking up at the very angry, very wet Turk above him. Everyone was laughing at him. Reeve and Tseng walked into the apartment and grabbed a beer. Tseng looked down at Reno as he passed. Beth placed her foot on his chest and smiled down at him. "Nice to meet you, Reno..." She said, then took her foot of his chest and offered to help him up. He took her hand and she threw him into a standing position. Then she turned around, smacking him in the face with her wet braid of long hair. "I have some clean clothes in my car, I'll be right back." With that, she left to go to her car.

"Reno, really... seltzer water?" Tseng said, taking his normal seat by Elena, who was smirking after the recent events. "Was that for me?"

Reno smirked, "As usual, boss man."

Reeve walked over to Rude and Rufus' game to watch. Reno sighed, "All I saw was a Turk uniform, helluva time to recruit a new Turk Boss-Man!" Reno grabbed a beer too, looking around, "Where's Nathan?"

Nathan spoke up, "Here." Reno whipped his head around, Nathan was crawling out of the freezer, his skin was slightly blue. "Thanks for letting me grab a nap."

"No problem Nathan, but... I have an extra bed, you know..."

Nathan shuddered, "No thanks, not after what Scarlet and whats-his-name do there almost every party..."

Tseng laughed, "I don't blame you."

Elena sighed, mainly in boredom. "So, why did you recruit a new Turk?"

Tseng looked at her, she must have had four beers already, he wondered how long she had been there... "The team needs another strong female, I don't want to seem sexist." He smiled, and before he could take another swig of beer, Elena wrapped her arms around him and gave him a kiss...- a very beer-flavored kiss...

"There...much better." Beth had come back inside now, and she was wearing jeans and a tee shirt. Reeve noticed how much they showed off her very feminine figure, and walked over to Reno and sat by him. He had to keep his eyes off of the new woman.

"So, Reno... why are we here tonight?"

"It's Rude's birthday, but he ruined the surprise, he arrived early." Reno stared at Rude.

"What? Everyone else was going to be here at five... I heard six, asked around and thought I was wrong."

"That's okay Rude... you can go get some more beer, and we can set up for the party." Reno said.

"But we have plenty of..." Nathan began. Reno stomped on his friends foot and Nathan didn't say another word.

Rude nodded, "Can I get whatever I want?"

Rufus, knocking another ball into a pocket when Rude wasn't looking, agreed, "Yeah, I'll even pay, as long as you get some 'Llama' brand rum."

Rufus handed him some gil, and Rude left, stating, "I'll be back soon."

As soon as the car's tires squealed out of the driveway, Rufus laughed, "No he won't..." Everyone looked at the vice president, who was laughing, "Llama isn't rum... he will look for it for a good half an hour."

"Rufus, SIR!" Tseng began to say... but Reno caught him.

"Good, that will give everyone time to hide!" Reno ran over to turn out the lights, and with a click, the apartment was pitch black.

"Reno! You idiot, you're suppose to wait until we are hidden, then turn off the lights." Beth grumbled.

Reeve chuckled and snuck behind a potted plant. He was going to stay away from Reno in the dark. He got downright dangerous.

Tseng dove under the coffee table, letting his eyes adjust to the dark. He, too, was hoping to stay as far away from Reno as possible.

Rufus hid under the pool table, and Elena dove behind the sofa. Beth even found a good place, hiding in the entryway closet. Nathan must have hid very well, as nobody could find or hear him. The only thing that everyone heard was Reno, who tripped over his footstool, and cracked his skull on a side table. Snickers told the locations of several of the people who were hiding.

About five minutes had passed, and the whole place was quiet. Quiet until there was a loud noise from the entryway.

"RENO! BAKA! PERVERT!!!!" was followed by very loud crashes and a loud "OUCH!" Tseng grumbled and looked in the darkness over towards the noise. He figured that Reno had 'accidentally' found the new Turk's hiding spot and tried to share, much to her dismay. Reno must have fallen out of the closet, given away by the sound of a human body being smashed into the linoleum of his entryway.

"Reno, I don't think that Rude will be back yet." Rufus said from his spot. "Besides, I am getting a leg cramp!"

Reno didn't say anything, and that worried Tseng. The older Wutan Turk decided to try and find Reno. He reached his hand out to find a way to crawl under the table, and his hand landed on something warm...and....

"BOSS!" Reno screamed, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

Tseng let go of Reno's 'weewee' and landed a punch into either his gut or his face, Tseng couldn't tell in the dark, but he could tell by the 'ugh' sound that came from Reno that he would try to call in sick on Monday.

"Reno, will you quit messing around? Rude will be here soon, besides, Reeve is getting jealous." Elena said from behind the couch.

Reeve felt his face grow hot, and wondered if anyone else could see him blushing in the dark.

Everyone grew quiet for the next fifteen minutes as they waited for Rude to return. He did, finally, and everyone heard the car squealing and coming to a stop outside. Reno was nowhere to be heard or seen in the dark room.

Rude came up to the door, and opened it, a case of beer in one hand and a bottle of rum in the other... he flicked on the light switch.

"Surprise!" Everyone, but Nathan, who was nowhere to be seen, jumped out of their hiding spots, and looked around. Reno had it decorated in the small living room. Banners and balloons, confetti and coasters. He really went all out for the surprise.

"Wow..." Rude said, walking over to Rufus. "Here, Mr. Vice President, it took me about an hour, but I found you some..." he handed to bottle of rum to him.

"Llama rum, well... I'll be damned." Rufus said.

"Reno, I'm shocked, you did all this in the dark?" Tseng looked shocked at the red headed Turk, who was standing there by the door.

"Yep." Reno said, beaming.

"RENO! ACT DECENT!" Beth screamed. That's when everyone else noticed that Reno was... well, typically Reno, nude.

"Beth, he does this every party." Elena told the other female, "Don't let it bother you."

"Hey, who wants to order out tonight?" Reno said, walking over to his stereo and turning on some hard, and loud, rock.

Nathan came bolting from behind the stereo. "DAMN!" He ran straight into Rufus, and the two tumbled over the coffee table, on top of one another.

Rufus kept his cool, saying, "Hey, Nathan... wait until later!"

Nathan was about to hit him, when he thought better of it. The looks on the five Turks around him told him to rethink harming the Vice Prez.

Nathan stood up and dusted himself off.

Elena asked, "What kind of order out?"

Reno glanced at Tseng and smirked, "Wutanese..."

It took both Beth and Rude to hold Tseng off of Reno, Reno laughed and went to grab the phone, Elena whipped around, "I think it will be fun to see Reno try and eat with chopsticks," She smiled.

Beth and Rude let Tseng go, and all of the guests thought it would be funny. Rufus, to keep Reno from being tempted to use a fork, went silently into the kitchen and 'disposed' of all of Reno's forks in the in house incinerator.

"SPEAK MIDGARIAN???" Reno yelled into the phone. Tseng was just about to help the poor guy when Beth grabbed the phone and started talking fluent Wutanese to the person on the other end.

"_Yes, this is a delivery order._" She spoke in Wutanese, "_Yes, we will have two samplers, three rice... hmm... four squid soups..._" Beth glanced at Tseng, "_What's good? I haven't eaten Wutan for quiet some time..._" Her Wutanese was flawless...

Tseng thought for a minute, "_How about some sushi for everyone... and I like the egg rolls and cookies._" Tseng felt strange using his native tongue outside of his land.

"_Okay then, we will have an order of egg rolls, a sampler of sushi, some... almond and ginger cookies and... some fresh baby octopus..._" Beth smiled, and the smile on her face told Tseng that she was going to get Reno back for his earlier trick, but he held his composure.

"Okay..." Beth hung up the phone. "21 Gil"

"I'll pay for it," Rufus said, smiling, having just destroyed every fork in the house. "On one condition..."

"What's that?" Reno said.

"You have to eat with the chopstick provided." Rufus said,

"No problem." Reno said, laughing, "how hard can they be?"

Elena stole a glance at Tseng and held back giggles.

"Who wants to play a game?" Reno suggested, "Until the food gets here?"

"What, pin the 'weewee' on the Reno?" Beth suggested, her eyes glancing down and smirked, "It's gonna be hard to hit such a tiny little, itty, bitty, teeny, weeny..."

"I GET THE POINT!" Reno said, then he cleared his throat and smirked, "Nah, how about something like beer can pile up?"

The others looked at each other, that was lame, even for Reno.

"What's the catch?" Elena spoke up.

"They're full cans!" Reno said, pointing to the kitchen, which was full of cases of beer.

"Oh no..." Tseng said.

Reno held out straws, "The ends of these are colored, so the two colors that match are paired up, two people each get four cases to stack." Reno beamed. "Tseng, you first!"

Tseng held his breath and pulled out... purple.

Rude went next and pulled out yellow.

Elena went after him and pulled out a green straw.

Reno went after Elena and pulled out a purple straw, "Hey, boss man!"

Beth said something, "Reno, that's cheating, that was up your sleeve! I saw that!"

Tseng nodded, "Reno, no cheating... pick a color..." Tseng was relieved. Reno grumbled under his breath and grabbed a straw... red.

"Matches your hair, Reno." Beth said as Reno shoved his fist full of straws at her. She grabbed one and smiled, "Purple. We are going to kick your butt."

Rufus chose yellow, Reeve picked green and Nathan picked red. So that made the teams:

Beth and Tseng: Purple... ("YES! WE ARE GONNA KICK YOUR BUTT!" Beth said, louder than normal, but she was on her fourth beer.)

Rufus and Rude: Yellow.... ("Rude, build the best tower, while I sit around and watch!" Rufus had told his Turk, Rude nodded)

Elena and Reeve: Green.... ("Elena, we can do this!" Reeve had said to the younger female)

Reno and Nathan: Red... ("You better help me Freezer boy!" Reno had said.)

"Okay, each color has a hula hoop for them to stack inside of, any cans outside are disqualified... we are going to have five minutes to stack the most beer cans... the highest stack wins!" Reno said, moving an old egg timer to five minutes. Cases of beer had been torn apart and cans now littered the living room. "READY!"

Everyone got to their marks, ready to grab tons of cans....

"GO!"

They were off... Elena knocked Tseng over to grab four cans and ran over to their hula hoop. She looked at Reeve, who had six cans. "Make a strong base... we can work up from there..." She said, "I'm going for more cans..."

Beth tripped Reno, sending one of his cans flying, spraying beer everywhere. Rude snuck his full case of beer over to his hula hoop, and Rufus sat back to watch.

Nathan was looking as Reno tried to stack four cans, on top of the other, and they kept falling over. "Reno, make a base of four... then stack up from there." Nathan said, bringing him more cans.

"_Boss, we need to make a huge base, as big as the hula hoop..._" Beth spoke in Wutanese... Tseng smiled and looked at the new Turk.

"_You're right, but we need to work fast. You grab the cans, I'll stack them until you get enough._" Tseng smiled, her slight Mideelian accent made her Wutanese sound that much better.

Beth nodded, "_Right_"

Nathan and Reno were fighting by the end of the five minutes. Rude and Rufus had 'helped' each other, Rufus had told Rude what to do. Elena and Reeve had tried to work together, but in the last minute, Elena fell over and knocked their tower down.

"Okay, okay... let's measure the stacks of cans..." Reno said, still pissed off at Nathan.

"First our stack..." Elena said, looking at their pathetic stack of cans.

"Fourteen cans high..." Reno said, feeling better about his stack now.

"Ours next Reno." Rude said.

Reno measured it, "Seventeen cans high... very well done RUDE." Reno glanced at the Vice President, who was sipping one of the beers, he hadn't helped at all.

"Very good Reno, now, could you please measure our lame stack and get it over with?" Nathan said.

Reno counted, "Eighteen cans high..."

Beth smirked... "Reno, our turn..."

Reno walked over and 'accidentally' tripped, and knocked over Tseng's stack. "Oops, sorry boss..."

Tseng wasn't fazed, "Elena, you counted ours... just how high was it?"

Elena smiled too, "Twenty seven high."

Reno's jaw dropped.

"We thought you might cheat Reno, we had Elena and Rude count our stacks, we counted theirs..." Tseng smiled.

They had bested Reno. Reno smirked and the turned around, knocking over Reeve's stack. Reeve dove for Reno's stack and Elena knocked over her stack just for fun. Then Reno grabbed a can and chucked it at Reeve. Reeve ducked and the can exploded against the side wall. Reeve grabbed a can and threw it back towards Reno, but missed his mark and smacked Elena between the eyes.

"BEER FIGHT!" Elena growled as she shook up a can and sprayed a beer all over Reeve, and subsequently, Tseng, Reno and Beth. Soon it evolved into all out war, every person for him or herself.

The door bell rang as the group of people were trying to clean up the scattered beer cans, now mostly empty. Elena, Beth, Reno and Rude all tried to go for the door at the same time.

"I'm paying for it." Rufus said, and all four of them backed off.

Rufus brought the food into the room, smiling, "Who wants to eat?" He set the food down on the floor and everyone sat in a circle around him. Tseng grabbed plates and started to place different kinds of food onto each plate.

Reno, meanwhile, had discovered that chopsticks were just that... sticks... "Who said, 'I know, let's eat with twigs'" Reno was now giving up really trying to eat with them and was holding one in each hand.

"It's simple, Reno... watch." Elena tried to show him as Tseng handed out their plates.

Tseng smiled, "Here Reno. You guys have to eat it all." Tseng passed Reno his plate.

"Eww... what is that?" Elena said as she picked up the food with her chopsticks. Tseng noticed that she held them decently. Rude held his chopsticks well, as did Rufus. Nathan sighed and was having trouble, but not as much trouble as poor Reno....

"I am getting a fork!" Reno stormed off to the kitchen.

"Hmm, I have forgotten how good this food is..." Beth said, using her chopsticks almost as good as Tseng.

"Beth, may I ask why you know Wutan and can use chopsticks so well when you were from Mideel?"

Rude piped up, "I'm from Mideel... who were your parents?"

Beth smiled, "Jake and Sarah Lotti..."

Rude looked confused, "Lotti? But they didn't have a daughter after..."

"My older sister June, who passed away." Beth nodded. "Me and my two sisters are adopted."

Tseng looked at her, "Adopted?"

Reno screamed from the kitchen, "WHERE ARE MY FORKS!"

Rufus giggled.

Beth continued with her story, "My parents adopted three girls, I was just a baby, I came from Mideel... Kukarui was two years younger than me and she was from Cosmo Canyon, and Terrah was almost five years older than us- she came over from Wutan when she was eight."

Tseng nodded, "So she taught you two?"

"Yeah. She did... me and Kukarui were too young to remember our hometowns, I was just four months old, and Kukarui was ten months."

"Mideel... huh? I left there..." Rude began.

"Shortly after June passed away, I was told that story all my childhood..." Beth said. "I got you a present Rude, for your birthday."

Rude smiled, pleasantly surprised.

Reno came back into the living room, picked up his plate and ate like an animal, he picked up hand fulls of rice and meat and ate them.

Beth stood up and grabbed a small package from her purse on the nearby table. "Here you go Rude, I hope you like it."

Rude opened the small present and gasped. "Beth..." He removed his sunglasses and stared at her. Beth was unfazed by his too pale eyes. Everyone else felt really uneasy and avoided looking at Rude without his sunglasses on, it was just too creepy. His eyes shown at her with the gentleness that he had felt for her sister. "Where did you find this?" Rude said.

"In my sister's things... they kept them in a box in my closet." Beth said.

Rude was looking down at his deceased fiancee's picture, one he never got to see, of her wearing the wedding dress that he never got to see her wear, along with the necklace that he had given her a week before her accidental death. His eyes filled with tears and he smiled. "Thank you Beth."

Beth smiled, "I heard how much she loved you Rude... You would be my Uncle if it weren't for the accident."

Rude stood up and hugged her, his soft grey eyes shining with tears. "You are as nice as your sister was."

Reno was getting Rude's present, "Enough MUSHY STUFF!" Reno threw the large box at Rude.

Rufus shuddered as the big, strong Turk turned towards Reno. "Rude, put your glasses back on.... please."

Rude caught the gift, and looked at his fire-colored haired friend. "Reno... dare I ask?" Rude said, putting his glasses back on, much to the relief of the others in the room.

"Well?" Reno asked as Rude looked at the present.

"Is it going to explode?" Rude said, lifting one corner of the box.

"Yes, BLAM!" Reno said as he lifted the lid. Rude jumped and glared at Reno.

"A wig?" Elena said, "Reno, how insensitive can you be?"

"What? I thought Rude would be tired of being bald... he has been since birth you know." Reno took a step back.

"Don't say the 'b' word." Rude said, looking at the brown wig in the box.

"I like him just the way he is!" Beth said, looking at the wig, "Don't wear it Rude, it wouldn't look right."

Tseng glared at Reno and sighed.

Rude grumbled, looked at Reno and threw the box down onto the floor. He cracked his knuckles and looked at the red head.

"Reno... run..." Reeve said looking at the bigger Turk coming after him. That was one thing that Reno didn't have to hear twice. He took off like a shot. Rude took off after him.

"REEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Reno bolted around the small apartment. He ran up the stairs, and Rude was soon after him.

The apartment was deathly quiet for a few minutes as Tseng started cleaning up the mess. Then came the earth shattering 'CRASH' and Reno came tumbling down the stairs. Rude came flying down the stairs after him and pinned Reno to the ground.

Nathan's eyes were huge as Rude took Reno into a headlock and gave him...

"NOOGIES!" Rude said, rubbing his fist into his friends' skull.

"No! Not noogies, ANYTHING but that!!!" Reno fought the bigger, stronger Turk to get away from the worst of all punishments within the binds of Turk-dom.

"Rude, that's enough, besides, you have other presents... and there are fortune cookies for everyone." Tseng said, holding a present and motioning towards the plate with several fortune cookies on it.

Rude let Reno up and nodded, "Okay. Fortune cookies first?"

Tseng handed him a cookie, then everyone else took their turn and took a cookie.

Rude read his message first. "Happy days are in store for you, when an old memory is returned to you." He smiled, "Wow, that's right!"

Reno read his next, "Extreme pain and horrible misfortune will plague you for the rest of your miserable days until your painful and slow death in a burning inferno..." He swallowed hard. "I always get that one."

Elena smiled and read hers, "You are going to be pleasantly surprised very soon after a small tragedy almost takes something you cherish away from you, don't worry though, it will come back." Elena merely blushed.

Nathan read his, "Okay, mine says, 'One who doesn't want frostbite shouldn't sleep in the freezer............ HEY!" Everyone laughed at him.

Rufus read his next, "The way to rule the world is not by money and power, but with fear and terror." He smirked, "I have to remember that one, it's a good saying."

Tseng was afraid to open his, but he did and read it, "Nothing bad is going to happen to you until you doubt yourself. But when you do indeed doubt yourself, you will see death firsthand, but escape by just a hair, and really learn to live life to the fullest." Tseng felt his jaw drop.

Reeve read his fortune, "Quit with the cat, it wasn't funny then, and it isn't funny now." He grumbled, "But I like Cait SITH!"

Beth read her fortune. "Extremely good fortune, happiness and love will soon be coming your way, you are liked by many and loved by several more." She grinned.

"Yeah, right, I must have gotten Beth's fortune cookie by mistake." Reno said.

Rude walked over to his four other presents, one from Rufus, one from Tseng, one from Reeve and one from Elena.

Rude opened up Rufus' small gift. "Rogaine? Why Rogaine?"

Rufus laughed, "Sorry, Reno told me that's what you really wanted. I put something else in there, besides the gag gift."

Rude looked at Rufus and dumped the bottle of Rogaine on the ground, and out floated a five hundred Gil note with a gift certificate to 'Junon Junction,' and a very well known Mideel type restaurant.

Rude forgave him and reached for his gift from Elena. He opened it and smiled, "Ah, this is sweet." He held up a very nice framed photo of the Turks during a mission a few months ago.

"That's all I could think of Rude, you have everything someone could need." Elena said.

"Reeve's next!" Reno said, still just as naked as he was.

Rude took Reeve's present, a small present. He opened it and smiled, "Ah, wow, the London Symphony preforms Final Fantasy VII music favorites." He hugged Reeve and grabbed his last present, the one from Tseng.

"It's just what you want." Tseng said.

Rude opened up the large box, and inside that box was another box, and inside that box was yet another box. Then another box, and another box, then another one...

"I see a pattern here." Rufus said, laughing.

Rude opened one more box, a small one... "WOW! No pay cuts for a month!" Rude laughed.

"Really?" Reno asked.

"No, it's a gift certificate for a free uniform cleaning." Rude smiled, hiding the gift certificate behind his back.

Rufus held up the sushi platter. "I have a game!"

Reno was all for it, with his own variation. "If you eat a piece and gag, you have to take off a piece of clothing!" Reno grabbed the plate of sushi.

Tseng looked around the room, maybe tonight, he would keep all his clothes ON. "Okay, I'll play, if Reno tastes wasabi..."

Reno took a glob of the green stuff and took a big gulp of it. It took a minute before it began to hit him, but it did. His eyes filled with tears. He ran into the kitchen and turned on the water, gulping it down.

"This should be easy to win." Beth said, laughing. Tseng agreed.

Reno finally came back from the kitchen, and walked upstairs. "If I want to loose, I have to have CLOTHES on..." Reno disappeared.

Everyone sat down in a circle with chopsticks. "Rufus, how about you first?" Rude said.

Rufus took at piece of sushi and grimaced at it. "Raw fish? Isn't that 'bait?'" He asked.

"Eat it or strip!" Reno said, coming down the stairs in his wrinkled uniform.

"Hey, Reno, ever hear of a clothes iron?" Beth said.

Reno plopped down just as Rufus stuffed the sushi into his mouth and chewed.

Rufus looked around, "Hey, this stuff is pretty good!" Rufus said, swallowing it, "I can see why it is a delicacy."

"I think that is squid..." Beth said.

Rufus turned a little green, but that was all.

Elena tried some and ran quickly to the bathroom, where the sound of vomiting was soon heard.

"Elena lost..." Beth said, eating her piece as if it were nothing, Tseng ate his piece too. Reeve refused to eat something that was looking at him.

"It's only baby octopus..." Beth said. "Everyone has to eat one."

Tseng grabbed the biggest octopus and slurped it down, and swallowed. "Good...that's good..."

Reno turned green and bit into the octopus.

"EW! Reno, don't bite into it..." Beth made a face.

Reno turned green, purple, blue and plaid, before running the nearest potted plant and losing all his dinner, beer and anything else that was in his stomach...

Rufus refused to touch that. "I say that Tseng wins... he's use to this stuff."

Everyone agreed, and grabbed another beer. Reno groaned, his head hanging in the pot of the plant he hurled into. Beth walked over and changed C.D.'s. Head banging rock ensued and caused the walls to rattle.

The party was almost to an end at that time, but nobody wanted to say that the birthday party was over. Then it happened.

Maybe Beth and Elena had one too many beers, or maybe they were having a really good time, but both of them jumped up onto the coffee table.

"What are they doing?" Reno said as he was hit in the head with a suit jacket. Elena's.

"Oh no... they are not doing this... they are not doing this..." Tseng said, trying to look away.

"Relax Tseng, enjoy the show." Reeve said, sitting on the couch beside Rude and Nathan, who was so drunk, he had fallen asleep and was just now waking up to the sight of two women stripping.

"I...is this heaven?" Nathan said.

"No, but close." Reno said, sitting next to Reeve.

Tseng joined them on the couch just as a slower song came on the stereo. Beth's jacket soon came off too, and then Elena's button down top. She was wearing a white lacy bra that caused Rude to grab a gil and put it in her bra.

Beth took off her tee shirt to show a very racy little pink bra. Reno smirked, but held Reeve's hand to show him that he wasn't being turned on by them, as much as he was just by being there with his lover.

Tseng smirked as both women continued with their striptease, Elena easily slipping out of her pants and showing a cute little thong. Beth took off her jeans and showed a matching g-string to her bra.

It was quiet noticable that now most of the men were excited at the sight of two nearly naked women dancing in front of them, and those who weren't excited at that were excited at each other, mainly Reno and Reeve.

Rufus was begging for a lap dance, but neither girl would do it. Elena gave Tseng one good lap dance that resulted in Tseng's hair to become frizzy. Reno and Reeve were kissing and Nathan finally gave up on trying to get a good look and went to sleep in the freezer. Soon the night became a blur to everyone.

The next morning Reno woke up, a drum line pounding on his brain. He barely remembered the night before, and threw back the covers. Then he saw that there was someone else in his bed. He pulled the covers back and was relieved to see Reeve laying there, sound asleep.

In the spare bedroom next to him, Elena was waking up too, her skull about to split in two. She yawned and then gulped. She wasn't alone either. There was someone in the room with her.

Down in the living room, on the fold out couch, Tseng was waking up, happy as could be. He heard the blood curdling scream as he smirked, "Hey, Rude... Beth, wake up... get dressed, Elena is going to be down here really soon and she isn't going to like what she sees." Tseng insinuated the two men and one girl lying naked in the small bed.

Beth yawned and looked at the two men, one on either side of her. "May I ask if anyone remembers last night after the sushi?" She jumped up and found her clothes, piled with Tseng's and Rude's.

Rude grabbed his suit and had just put it on as Elena came bolting down the stairs. "I...I...I..."

Tseng laughed when he saw who was up at the top of the stairs, "Elena, just think... he might give you a raise... Good morning, Mr. Vice President."

_Beth: There, done!_

_Reno: Why did I have to be like the 'good' guy. All I ever get stuck with is Reeve..._

_Reeve: And that's bad?_

_Beth: Well... nothing happened... it just ended up in a weird situation._

_Tseng: You mean that I didn't... _

_Rude: You got a lap dance._

_Tseng: By Elena... you got one from Beth... she's hot AND smart._

_Rude: (grin)_

_Beth: Okay, but NOTHING happened, okay? Just a lot of hangovers._

_Tseng: The Turks don't get hangovers!_

_Reno: (groaning) This one does..._

_Beth: (sigh) okay, I am going back to Avalanche now... you guys are beginning to worry me. _

_Reno: Ah, not so loud! My head hurts! _


End file.
